Do you ever ask yourself what’s the main reason for your selfishness?
Do you ever wonder why some of your relationships are no longer as strong as they once used to be?
Want to know the true reason for this?
To answer you in one sentence : it’s because you think of yourself as someone who is totally separate from others.
When you think that you are separate or different from others, you give rise to those thoughts and feelings inside you that make you identify yourself only in terms of I/Me/Myself.
And as your thinking and feeling of I’ness continues to grow, it keeps strengthening your ego with a never-ending fuel of selfish thoughts, which only make you think all the time about your own selfish needs.
This makes you care only about your own happiness, your own worries, your own desires, your own sense of rightness.
And then every action you do has its roots in that selfish attachment you have for only your personal well-being.
And you can see the results of this in your day-to-day life : You don’t care to listen to others, but you want everyone else to listen to what you say. You feel irritated when anyone pushes you to move past you, but you don’t mind pushing others to make your way. You get angry when others forget your birthday, but you don’t think it’s a big deal if you forget theirs.
You can think of a hundred other such acts on your own, which you continue to do again and again in your daily life, and which are a clear example of your selfish way of thinking.
That’s why this sense of I’ness is a dangerous thing to have as it makes both you and the world around you an unhappy place to live in. And this is also a huge barrier for your self-growth and self-understanding.
To let go this thinking and feeling in terms of I’ness, what you need to do is try to get rid of it altogether. How?
First, try to cultivate within yourself a feeling, a thought, an idea, that everything is one.
To help you in forming this thought, you can even go a bit scientifically and think of everything as just a combination of atoms and particles and nothing beyond them.
Or, you can think of everything as having a consciousness that’s similar to your own. Both these approaches can work to make you think in the right direction and to reduce the power of your ego over yourself.
When you don’t see the oneness in everything, you always think and act and speak in terms of I and me. This in turn continues to make you more and more selfish with each day, which in turn only brings you more and more suffering in life.
To win over this selfishness, to win over all your sufferings permanently, there is only one way and that is to think of everything in this universe as one with you.
When you begin to think and act and speak in this way, i.e. with the understanding that everything is one, here’s what happens : You begin to see the pain and suffering of others around you. You begin to contemplate on what’s right and what’s wrong with regards to the welfare of everyone around you. Your love and kindness expands from the concern for yourself to that for your family, your friends, your society, your country, your world, your universe.
With further practice, your love and kindness even expands from yourself and your fellow humans to every other living-being in this planet. You begin to see and understand, possibly for the very first time, the cruelty done on other humans and animals. You begin to feel their suffering and pain. You begin to seek a way out of it for yourself and for others.
And all these experiences help to cultivate a new understanding within you which helps you to see the world and everything in it for what it is, and not how it is projected by others on you.
You begin to see the truth about life on your own. You begin to learn more about yourself and others by seeing and living the full truth at every moment.
You begin to rely less and less on any teacher and more and more on your own inner-self to guide you in the right direction.
You begin to think the right way. This thinking leads you to talk and act the right way. And this action leads you to further enhance your thinking of the right way.
And as this process of thinking and acting goes on, you begin to move from illusion towards reality, you begin to move from chaos towards peace, you begin to move from ignorance towards knowledge, you being to move from suffering towards happiness.
This is a beautiful transformation to witness in yourself and in others.
But remember, all this begins only when you learn to see the oneness in everything.
Thank you for reading this article. If you find it useful, please share it with others and help me reach more people like you who seek peace, happiness, and true understanding in their lives.