We have two sides. A kind side and a selfish side.
And we keep shifting from one side to another throughout our life. Sometimes we are kind, sometimes we are selfish, and that’s how our life goes on.
But this isn’t the way we are supposed to live our life. If it was so, then why do we feel bad about those selfish acts we have done in the past. Why do we feel we should have thought more of others and less about ourself. After we fulfill our selfish desires, then instead of being happy, why do we feel emptiness and unhappiness within us as if we still lack something in our life.
All this is due to our selfishness.
Our selfishness has no limits. No matter how much you get in life, if you are selfish in nature, you will always want more and more. But to live a happy and peaceful life, you have to put an end to this. Instead of being selfish all the time, you have to learn to be kind all the time.
While you can’t undo the past, what you can do is make sure that you don’t do the same mistake of acting selfishly again, and for that you should always strive to make your kind side win over your selfish side.
Try to practice kindness as often as possible. If you think you are more selfish than others, then you need to practice even more kindness than others. That’s the only way you can win over your selfishness.
Whenever you are faced with a choice between kindness and selfishness, choose kindness. The truth is you always have this choice. If you don’t know about it yet that’s only because you aren’t mindful enough of your thoughts and actions. When you learn to live with mindfulness, you can see this choice clearly and can act with kindness all the time. And when you don’t live with mindfulness, you don’t see this choice and you keep swinging from one side to another.
I know how hard it is to be kind all the time. I still act with selfishness from time to time, only to regret it later. And that always reminds me to strengthen my mindfulness practice and be in control of my thoughts and actions, so that I am kind to everyone around me.
We all need to practice more to cultivate mindfulness inside us, so that we gain the ability to choose between kindness and selfishness.
If you practice kindness for long enough, with time, it will become your nature to be kind, and then by default you will act with kindness in every situation.
Mindfulness helps you in becoming a kind person. By being mindful, you are aware when a selfish thought comes to your mind. You see the thought as selfish, and then you can discard it. It’s that simple to understand. And with time it also becomes easier. You only have to be mindful and practice kindness over selfishness every time.
And yes, sometimes, people will still be mean even when you are kind to them. Sometimes, they will still not care about you even when you care for them. Sometimes, they will still be cruel to you even when you are compassionate to them. At such times, you have to bring yourself back to your state of mindfulness, so that you can continue to do the right thing even when everyone else around you does the wrong.
Practicing kindness and compassion is essential to grow ahead in life and to form the right mindset for understanding the true nature of life.
Most of us are already kind by nature. But due to the conditioning of our mind, we fail to recognize this kindness within us, and because of our ignorance we continue to act with selfishness. If you try to remember those moments in your life when you wanted to act with kindness, but instead you forced yourself to be selfish, you will find that it was the conditioning of your mind that made you do so. In those situations, because of your old habits, you allowed your selfish side to win over your kind side.
Now you need to do the opposite and change your old habits which made you act selfishly. You have to form new habits of kindness and compassion towards everyone you come across. This is not only the natural way to live a happy life, and the right thing to do, but it will also benefit you more than it would benefit anyone else.
By being kind, you will be more peaceful and loving, and less stressed, less jealous, and less negative-minded.
By being kind, you learn to see the similarities between yourself and others. You even see the similarities between you and other life-forms. You see how all of us are similar in so many ways : we all have desires; we all feel hunger and thirst; we all feel joy and excitement; we all want peace and happiness; we all want others to be kind to us; we all run away from chaos or any signs of trouble; we all have feelings of loyalty and love for those who take care of us.
By being kind and compassionate to every being, you will advance ahead at faster speed in your practice of mindfulness and meditation too. A kind heart is necessary to dive deeper into meditation. Without it, your selfish thoughts will keep pulling you away from meditation and mindfulness.
Sometimes, we hide our kind side, because we are afraid that it will only hurt us and will prove to be bad for us later. We can tell from our past experiences, when we acted with kindness but were only repaid with selfishness from others. We don’t want that to happen to us again. So we take the safer path, and act with selfishness.
But this only harms us more, as we end up becoming a selfish person ourself. The reply to selfishness is never selfishness, but kindness. By being kind you not only reduce your own selfishness, but also help reduce the selfish nature of others. So don’t stop yourself from being kind even if others are selfish to you.
When you have feelings of kindness towards any being let it pour through you. Let it come down as much as it can. Don’t try to stop it or to reduce its flow. Let kindness flow freely from within you. You will see that by letting it flow freely from within you, you create an atmosphere of peace and happiness around you.
This peace and happiness is contagious by nature. And the more you practice it the more it spreads around. For example, if you start being kind to animals, others around you who hate animals might slowly start seeing why you do so and they too may become kind towards them. And you never know how many people they may end up changing.
Your kindness starts with you. But it grows in every direction from you. Just as a small drop of water can cause ripples hundreds of times its size, the same way small acts of kindness can cause hundreds of others to be changed by it.
Make your kind side win over your selfish side and you will soon defeat this enemy called selfishness which has so far blocked your growth towards understanding life.
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