What do you do when you come across selfish and mean people in your life?
Argue with them? Hate them? Fear them? Or wish something bad happens to them?
I don’t know about you, but, earlier, when someone was selfish to me, it hurt me, and I wished someone hurt them too for what they did to me. I thought they deserved as much pain and suffering as they gave to me.
But soon I started to notice a change in me. Whenever I acted selfishly against others who were selfish to me, instead of feeling good, I felt bad from inside. I felt unhappy about my own selfishness. I saw that, in my act of replying selfishness with selfishness, I was becoming selfish in other areas of my life too.
I realized that you can’t be selfish to only one person. Once you let selfishness take hold over you, you act selfishly to everyone else in your life too.
It was then that I decided that I will just follow my real nature, which was to be kind and compassionate to others. I started to reply selfishness with kindness and this made me feel good from within.
Though I wasn’t emotionally strong enough then, and at times I still reacted selfishly, but slowly, slowly, I started moving from selfishness to kindness. And then I came across several moments in my life which proved to me that by being kind I was actually helping the selfish person realize his selfishness, which I couldn’t do before by reacting selfishly to them.
And now, when I no longer give away to such feelings I feel peace inside me, and that allows me to forgive others for their selfish acts.
And you know what, you feel much better when you forgive others for what they did to you, than when you continue to hold a grudge against them.
When others are mean to us, we try to attack back, but when we do so we unconsciously let our ego take full control over us. And then we end up doing things which we regret later.
Your ego makes you think everything in terms of ‘I’ and ‘Me’. You think thoughts such as: I am unhappy, I am angry, He did this to me, He called me by that name.
All such things which we think in terms of ‘I’ or ‘Me’, makes us believe that we are separate from others and that our happiness is separate from others, too. This belief makes us think that we need to take control of our own happiness, and it makes us act selfishly all the time.
Instead of reacting selfishly to anyone, if you realize the nature of selfishness itself, you will see that it’s nothing but the desire to satisfy your ego, your sense of I’ness, and nothing else.
And when you realize the nature of selfishness, you cease to be selfish yourself. You see the futility of being selfish. And you let go any selfish thoughts as they come to you, and instead be kind and compassionate to others.
When you are kind to a selfish person, it confuses him. He can’t understand why you are kind to him. And this makes him question his own selfishness, which if done enough times, helps him overcome his selfishness, and care about others feelings, too.
This act of replying selfishness with kindness is what we need today to simplify our lives. There is selfishness all around us, but if we all start to be kind to others we may bring a change among others, and they in turn may spread this change.
Imagine what a beautiful world it will be when we can see small acts of kindness everyday in our life. Imagine seeing such acts of kindness all around you – in your home, in your office, on the bus stop.
Start first by being kind yourself, and be the source of kindness in the world, and you will soon start to see the benefits of doing so in your own life, and in the life of others, too.
Thank you for reading this article.